Weblog

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

  • Remember me, Xanga?

    Hey Xanga,

    Remember that Highschool junior lonely after moving, freaked out about college, with the silly little brother included often in her posts?

    Remember that girl trying fiercely to become a woman and define her experience?

    It's me, Anna. I'm getting married. I have a ring from my Love to prove it. I'm a junior--actually first semester Senior--in college now. I am a psychology major--remember all of that wondering and worrying about a major? I don't really think of it anymore. I love children and I'm a nanny. I'm going to live in a 20x20 treehouse apartment with my Will and we're going on an adventure and we will always have our best friend with us.

    Just wanted to give a little holler your way.

    Sincerely,

    Anna (the woman)

Monday, 28 April 2008

  • Twirling...

     Such a magnificently strong desire, I knew for girls at least and now I know for women. I am a woman now. I've been wondering when that flip would happen and I'm still not exactly sure when it did, but perhaps somewhere after I checked a box that said "single" instead of "Greg and Sarah's child" and right now while I sit babysitting after my lovely child is sleeping. But, I digress. To be delighted in. yes. that's where I was.

    We want it and need it so badly. We twirl our dresses and put flowers in our hair. We run to be scooped up for hugs and kisses. We giggle. We smile. We aim to please. Sometimes we distort our desire. We become primiscuous doing anything to be told that we are lovely, pleasing, to be caressed and delighted in. Or sometimes we'll pretend it's not true. We don't want to seem weak or silly or foolish. Our desire doesn't seem valid                                           

    Oh, but it is. It is so valid and placed in our hearts by our Creator Who does delight in us. Who uses a picture of a bride waiting and hurting and longing and finally redeemed and swept up to be taken home by her Lover. If that's not delighting in, I don't know what is.

    girl-dancing

Saturday, 12 April 2008

  • What sucks about sin

    Sin makes me tired of the one whom I dearly love and I hate that. I hate that sinners who love eachother and want to be in community with one another still sin and grate on eachother and have to have time apart.  It hurts me deeply--my heart and feeling of how life should be and I know that it hurts him. If only I could purge that part of me out--throw up all of my ungrace and unforgiveness and unlove and wicked desires.

    But I can't pretend that it doesn't happen.

    Papa, make me forgiving and understanding and loving beyond the extent of human sin and stupidity.

Sunday, 20 January 2008

  • Joe

    -Hiy, Anna. Why're ya callin'?

    -Hey, Joe. I'm in a big scary house babysitting. I got spooked out so I'm calling to talk to you guys.

    -O......well, you can talk to mom about your fears. (hands the phone to mom and goes to brush his teeth)

Saturday, 15 December 2007

  • Time for a nap...

    Being a driver's helper for UPS is amazing. Clark (like Clark Kent, he said) is a 38 year old Haitian man who moved to New York when he was 11 and to my town 2 years ago. He loves his job and his wife and cusses like a sailor. We drove his route whizzing down dirt roads in the country to hand happy people their packages.

    Joe: See, Anna, now I can look at the raindrops outside. (He's wearing a pair of giant chemistry goggles.) Outside, he stands under a big pine tree waiting for a giant rain drop to land on his face.

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